Mistresses - to have or not to have?

Now, none of us condone having mistresses. To be frank, we don't have any ourselves, but it's a question that often gets bounced around. Who knows what inspires man to have, or want to have mistresses? Perhaps it's boredom? Perhaps it's general gatal-ness (side effect of high libido or lack of fulfilment)? Perhaps it's trying to recapture that brain buzz from first love (that feeling that lasted about 1 month, then you were stuck - see who told you to have sex with her so soon)?

This is what we have in mind of course:

Elisha Cuthbert, star of 24 - pundek's kryptonite (hot, young, white blonde female)

Well, they're a few criteria required to successfully have a mistress - but obviously not all of them have to be fulfilled:

1. Wealth - and lots of it. A mistress can potentially be high maintenance. You'll have to pay for hotel rooms, usually at short notice so you'll be hit by rack rates. Don't count on using your discount vouchers - not only is it seriously uncool when you check out to flick through and tear out coupons, you can't use them on short notice. Gifts. Accomodation. If you get her pregnant and have a love child, boy are you screwed unless you have lots of money. 

2. Silver tongue - for courting of course. How many times have we seen the ugliest bastard (usually a close friend or relative) have a hot chick and think - god damn - that's unfair. Why? Coz it should be me with that hot chick rather then my hagard looking wife. And you know she's hot, because your wife checks her out, and suddenly tells you that they're not nice people and you shouldn't hang out anymore. Women naturally can't stand prettier women around them.

Digressing - anyway, money alone is usually insufficient. You've got to be charming, remember - looks have nothing to do with it.

3. Balls - not physical testicles, everyone has them (including your wife who has them on her key chain). You've got to be gutsy enough to go for it. And whatever happens after, you've got to deal with it. 

So what happens when 3 pundeks try to get a mistress? We'll probably end up with this:

Well - you see - no money, not good at talking, and no guts. We'll probably end up with grandma telling us to f**k off. Oh well.

So if anyone has successfully gotten a hot young mistress, tell us about your experience. If she's an ugly, old slut then don't bother mentioning it :). 

We'll talk about the other alternative next time - prostitution. Again, not condoning, just discussing.