Sex - before and after marriage

Well before marriage your woman sees you like this:

That's right, you're a regular cassanova. Your penis is 10 inches (er  - I'm presuming you're not of course, but if you are: you BASTARD)  of pure hot rod, a gleaming Ferrari she always wants to ride. Blow jobs are part of the foreplay. What foreplay? There's action straight away. She's hot for you, sex goes on for hours, and you're told you're the best thing that ever happened to WOMEN!. 

Her vaginal juices are overflowing, there's so much vaginal lubricant it's dripping off your thigh like this:

and umm.. she looks like that too! Yeah!

Fast forward >>>>>>>>>>>

You've been married a little while now, you may or may not have children. What's important, is that you're married - AND HAPPILY (so you tell yourself to avoid depression).

You now look like this in her eyes:

Chances are, you've probably drifted that direction too....

Sex - well, they are now 2 types of sex that you can have, and none of it is particularly good:

1. making baby sex - a pure chore. Woman hounding you to have sex every 48 hours for maximal sperm count, and can you please get off after you're done? Don't forget to remind the wife to pee after to avoid a urinary tract infection. And yes, once she's pregnant, there is no more sex, except the 2nd kind:

2. pity sex - occasionally she lets you satisfy your primal need, but much like eating weetbix with cold milk on a cool winter morning while it's still dark - it provides nourishment but not exactly enjoyable. 

Did we mention they are NO MORE BLOWJOBS? No chance of anal, nothing exciting occurs. The only sexual position now is known as the possum.

 

The possum is when the woman lies prone, almost unmoving and unbreathing as you try to have sex with her. Occasionally, slip a finger under the nose to check for breathing sounds and check the pulse. 

Oh yes, get used to getting a bit of KY. Your penis entering the vagina is equivalent to going through this:

Sandpaper my friend. Your cock will feel like it's completely raw after you're done. Not only that, she'll blame you for a sore pussy for a week. That's ok, because it's plenty of recovery time for the monthly sex. It's occasionally important to put a Google Calender reminder in case you miss the occasion - it's kinda like her period, it comes once a month.

Cheers from the 3 pundeks! We hope you enjoyed this post - and we'll update with any new insights we have! :)